The F Word

I have been very fortunate to have lived in 10 states and at least 40 different towns/cities. I have met a ton of people in my life and many of them I have called friends even though we no longer talk all the time or even at all since the last time we saw each other. That is why this introvert loves FB. That may be the only reason I love it but it is a reason. I hate the phone but I can keep in contact, or rather, cyber stalk friends/people I know and see what they have been doing with their lives. Every single one of them doing very different things. I feel confident that of my “friends list” on FB I actually know or have met at least 95% of them.

That, however, does not make them all friends. I am always very careful to use the F word with caution. I am not “friends” with a lot of people. Meeting someone once does not make you a friend. That requires at least one life event to bond us. A real life event not a made up fluff BS event like meeting at a party once or being at the same race back in 2004.

The most over used word in America is friend. Just my opinion for what it is worth. I used to have tons of friends. Men and women I knew from work and would party with then they would steal my stuff. Girls who were jacked up in the head but II felt I had to be nice to because that is what good people do. I had tons of friends. Until I needed someone.  Until I was kicked out of my house by my crazy mother at 17. Until I had a bad break up.  Until I lost my home.  Until I lost my job.  Then I was alone. In hind sight I was always alone. I always knew that the only one I could truly depend on was myself.

That was when I stopped using the F word. I started picking and choosing wisely. I started asking myself “What does this person have to offer me?” No it isn’t selfish to ask that. All friendships are 2 way streets. Otherwise only 1 person is getting anything out of the relationship and you have to admit that sucks and is draining. Not too long ago I was faced with a “friendship” decision where I had to ask myself this question and the answer was nothing.

I absolutely love that I really only have 7 people in my life that I can count on no matter what. Real friends who will drop anything if needed and help and not remind me every time you see me or make me feel bad about myself for needing help. 3 of those women know my secrets.  True friends. To these women I say Thanks! I may not call, text, remember to send out you birthday and Christmas presents on time if ever but we are still friends because grown up mature women don’t give a crap about stupid things like that. Real women lift each other up when one is down. They praise and celebrate other women’s victories and successes without envy. They don’t care what you look like, if you’ve gained or lost weight, if your hair is jacked up or that you cry when you are hurt. They don’t care if you placed first in a race or dead last they are proud that you are out there. They accept your flaws and their own.

You know who you are I hope and I am grateful and thankful for having you in my life. I may not say it enough and that is my flaw. But it is ok. I know you understand.